I had a heartbreaking conversation with a 13 year old girl today.
I don't know how we came upon the subject of religion, but come upon it we did. I told her that I was Pagan and she scrunched up her face and physically backed away from me; visibly uncomfortable. I further told her I was a Witch and I'd swear she was trying to resist the urge to walk out the door to get away from me.
When asked to explain her reaction, the young lady told me that it would be very easy for her to start a fight about religion because of what I had told her. I asked her, why a fight? Why not simply a discussion? It ends up being a fight because people just don't understand, she said. Understand what, I asked? She basically (I don't remember her exact wording) stated people don't understand that what she has been taught by her church is right and that everyone else is wrong. I nodded sadly, because it was pretty much what I expected to hear.
I asked her to tell me the first thing she thought of when I told her I was a Witch. Devil worship, she said. Again I nodded sadly. I explained, in layman's terms, a little bit about both Paganism and Witchcraft. I said for me, Paganism is how I explain that I believe in many different things stemming from many different belief systems; a snippet here, a tidbit there. I also explained that, for me, Witchcraft is about reverence, respect, and worship of the Earth in all her splendor.
She accepted it, warily, when I compared spellcasting to praying, but was still very reluctant to believe that I don't practice "black magic" and perform hexes and curses.
The girl informed me that she had just recently been baptised. She said that she believes very strongly in her beliefs and knows that to be the truth over all else.
But she sometimes wonders about other beliefs.
I asked if she had ever researched other belief systems and she said she was not allowed to. She said that she hasn't even been allowed to talk about other beliefs because she is told that is wrong and not allowed. Her friends and family have told her this.
I was floored when she told me she's been told that meditation and yoga are not allowed because these allow one to clear their mind and let Satan in!
I know I must sound a little like I'm rambling, but I am just so very sad for this girl. In my opinion she has been brainwashed and doesn't really even have the sense of self to go against the grain if she doesn't agree with something that others in her religion say is the way it should be.
I told her that beliefs/religion are very personal and that NO ONE should dictate what she should believe or what is right for her. She is the ONLY one who can know that, and there is nothing wrong with figuring out what works for oneself, even if it is different from others.
I suggested that she do some research if she is curious. Even if she keeps it to herself. At least maybe she can find some answers to her questions.
Finally, before leaving, I asked her to do me a personal favor and look up both Paganism and Witchcraft on the computer. I see this young lady on a regular basis and I want to put her mind at ease so that she knows I am not inherently evil and that I intend her no harm.
Somehow I feel as though I am failing her, though I know it is not my place to feel thus.
And my family wonders why I don't believe in organized religion...
*smh*
What a shame...
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